The COVID-19 diaries: distracted
You’ll be pleased to know that I did actually finally manage to make the yogurt (I have one of those Easi-yo thermos and sachet systems) and I made the bread, although I still haven’t baked it as it requires a long proving. I should put the oven on now! I didn’t get round to putting my sheet music into the clear file but I left it on the table and Violet spilt a glass of water on it and all the old paper inside it has turned to pulp.
And work-work? The job I’m paid to do? I failed spectacularly. I have a few excuses I tell myself – I have two children to look after! It’s really hard to remote access into the work PC system from my home Mac! It’s stressful working under a pandemic! I feel scattered, discombobulated, imminently distractible. I am having cognitive dissonance. I need the social construct of workmates and tea rooms and office furniture to make me be productive. Home is where I do housework, caregiving and make art on the dining room table. Work is where I do powerpoints and format documents and apply the brand guidelines. But really I should be able to do it anywhere. Why can’t I?
Today is a new day and I am hoping to focus more. I am hoping not to fall into a pit of self-loathing for not achieving what I set out to achieve. I’m going to go on a walk to clear my head and then I am going to make myself a coffee and I am going to… did I put the oven on? Was that my phone I hear?
LET ME BE FRANK 
I had a group meeting with the people sharing Square Edge, and everyone was saying that they were feeling discombobulated and unproductive. We have to hope that we either get back to normal or if not, finally by year’s end, sort ourselves out. But the environmental benefits are probably a consolation to all of us who don’t have steely resolve.
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Burnt the porridge two days running – must not check emails and talk to sister and make porridge and worry about whether I need to clean all the doorknobs again – all at the same time. Stress is the enemy of multi-tasking – you’re doing an amazing job and probably still recovering from the last trip to the supermarket. But the birds Sarah – aren’t the birds amazing!
YES the birds are amazing! I have two giant kereru living in the tree above my compost heap and so many piwakawaka!
I had to look up the birds as I know next to nothing about NZ birds. Thoses kereru are certainly handsome and I loved the idea that “the only remaining New Zealand bird capable of swallowing large fruit” – that sounds like an idea that could inspire an artistic response. 😄
Ahhhhh thanks for this. I feel like I am reading about myself.