The Fall of Light has landed!

This morning I opened my door and there was a bubble-wrapped package on the doorstep. It took  a while to hack it open, and this is what I pulled out – an advance copy of my novel. I have a weird sensation when I see my books, because I play a large role in what they look like. My excitement is counterbalanced with cringe – was that the kind of cover I should’ve designed? Did I choose the right typeface? What would my old creative directors say – that it was sloppy, that I should’ve finessed it more? What about the paper – so white, so uncharacteristic in fiction, where the usual stock is cream and bulky? Were those the right decisions? Oh God, it’s too late now.

I never read my books after they are published, beyond skimming them for sections to read at events. I had my chance at the end of last year, and over again this year, where I had the sense I could go on changing things forever. This is it, it’s never going to be perfect, but I hope I made it as good as it could be. Of course, how I imagine someone might read my novel is never how they are actually going to read it. They will bring their own baggage, their own memories, their own quirks, experiences and obsessions. As much as I want people to pick up on the fairy tale references and the pokes at contemporary art, they might not notice them, instead concentrating on the family dynamics in the book. After four years of being able to control my little fictional world, I now have to relinquish that control. The story is no longer just mine. And I don’t really want it to be mine, because I love it when I can make another writer’s world my own, and when a reader tells me that I was writing about them.

Anyway, here are a few little shots of the graphic novella section in the book:

And here are the flaps, which are very exciting to have, as my last two books were trade paperbacks and this is a C format (if I have my publishing terms correct).

Anyway, it’s not published yet – it won’t be out until July. In the meantime I shall fret that everyone will hate it and have wild fantasies that everyone will love it. I hope that some of you will fall into the latter category!